


I Have Questions

by intrrvertspicce



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Arguing, Break Up, Cheating, Crying, Domestic, Drug Addiction, Falling In Love, Family, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Holidays, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Marriage, Mental Health Issues, My First AO3 Post, My First Fanfic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relationship(s), Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-09-23 12:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20340007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intrrvertspicce/pseuds/intrrvertspicce
Summary: I have questions for you.Number one, tell me who you think you are. You got some nerve, trying to tear my faith apart."Watch me walk away. Watch me fall back into his arms and not yours."Number two, why would you, try and play me for a fool? I should have never, ever, ever trusted you."I would never leave you, you're stuck with me!"Number three, why weren't you who you swore that you would be?"I won't hurt you like he did, you can trust me."I have questions, I got questions, honey me.Or basically: A story in which Phil betrays Dan after gaining his trust and they have to build their love up from scratch again.-- Based after the song "I Have Questions" by Camila Cabello(This story has no update schedule! I might update 9 times in a week or once in 2 months so don't expect weekly updates!!)





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'll keep this short but basically, I have always wanted to write a fic so when I heard the song "I Have Questions" it gave me a really good idea for one! I write all the time and have written hundreds of stories, but I have never written a fic so I hope it's not too horrible. Anyway, enjoy!

The sweet sound of birds chirping and leaves rustling in the wind didn't do much to calm Dan's nerves. Today was the day.

He was going to come out to his parents.

Dan had always known he was gay. For years, he tried to hide it, to push it down until it was swallowed in the abyss of his mind. Unfortunately, that didn't work very well. After all that hurt and struggle, he decided to just wait until he moved out to say anything. At least then they couldn't kick him out. 

It was quite chilly for the summertime as he walked to the little coffee shop. It was his favorite. If this went bad, he would never be able to go back there again. 

He hoped that wouldn't happen. 

After a few minutes, the cafe was in his line of vision and the anxiety kicked in full force. His mind raced with impossible scenarios, his stomach churned, and his hands became coated with a layer of sweat. He anxiously wiped them on his jeans. That heavy feeling in his chest only got worse when he walked through the doors and saw his parents sitting at a little booth, smiles plastered on their faces. He wondered how long they would stay there.

Dan's mother jumped up from her seat and wrapped her arms around him. 

"Oh, my child! I've missed you!" She exclaimed. Dan just rolled his eyes.

"I saw you last week, mum." 

"A week is far too long." She said as she pulled away. 

Dan's father was standing off to the side, looking awkwardly down at his feet. He was never really the hugging type so Dan just gave him a small smile, to which his dad returned. 

Finally, after a full five minutes of greetings and Dan's mother commenting on how he needs to eat more ("Look at you, you're all skin and bones!"), they finally sat down at their respective table. 

"So, Dan, you said you wanted to talk to us about something?" Dan's mother questioned. Dan was taken aback. He hadn't expected to have to talk about it so soon. Well, it was either then or never. 

Suddenly, his mouth ran dry and he started fidgeting his hands under the table. It wasn't like his parents wouldn't support him. They were very liberal and even would show up at pride parades to show their support. Honestly, if you were to ask him why he was feeling that way, he wouldn't be able to give you an answer. Sometimes his anxiety just got the best of him. 

"So, um, I-I wanted to tell you something." He finally managed to say. 

"Yes, we know, get on with it." His father said with a grin on his face, showing Dan he wasn't actually cross with him. Dan took a deep breath. 

"Uh, well, this is kind of something that's been bothering me for a long time. I wanted to tell you sooner but I was a bit scared. I'm not really sure why. Anyways-" Dan's rambling was cut off by a warm hand on his own. He looked down to see his mother staring at him with a comforting look in her eyes. 

"It's okay honey, you can tell us anything. We'll still love you no matter what." She gave him a small smile and that was all Dan needed to spit out his biggest kept secret. 

"I'm gay. And I don't want you to think of me any differently but I just needed to get that off my chest and tell you guys because I just-" Once again, he was cut off from his nervous rambling by his father that time. 

"That's what all this commotion was about?" He asked in a joking tone. His mother lightly hit his arm and turned towards Dan again. 

"You know we love you, right? Nothing will ever change that." She gave his hand a little squeeze. He just nodded softly and squeezed her hand in return, letting out a sigh of relief. 

It only took moments for them to fall back into their usual banter, talking about Dan's crazy day at work last Tuesday and how his father tried to cook, once again, and set off all the fire alarms. After an unidentifiable amount of time went by, Dan checked the clock. It was already three pm and he had to work tonight at five. After a moment of reluctance, he decided to say his goodbyes and head off.

\---~--- 

Warmth surrounded him as the hot water cascaded down his body. He lathered himself with a sweet-smelling soap that he knew wouldn't last long. He always ended up coming home from work smelling like a cappuccino. 

You see, Dan owned his own little coffee shop/breakfast diner in the middle of his tiny town. He named it Flip Cafe and ran it with his closest friend, Louise. She would cook all the homemade foods and he would make his specialty coffee. Everyone knew about Flip Cafe since they didn't have a Starbucks in the surrounding 20 miles. 

His shop is open till midnight and opens again at two am for all those people on the night shift who need caffeine to stay awake. 

Finally, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a soft towel around him. He walked to his room and picked out a comfy and casual outfit to wear during his night shift. Most nights, Louise would open up shop in the early morning, but lately, Louise has been too busy with her husband and daughter to come in at that time. Dan didn't mind covering for her, I mean, he owned the store so it didn't matter. He just would like the extra help sometimes. 

So, he made a decision. He needed to hire another worker. 

At this point, he was already out the door and getting into his car. The store was only a mile away from his home so it was minutes before he was walking inside the warm, coffee smelling diner. Louise had her back to him, making some kind of drink for the man standing at the counter. Dan quickly went into the backroom to put his stuff away, giving Louise a smile on the way there.

This evening, he had some interviews with a few people who want the new job. It was mostly kids from the local university just up the street looking for an easy night shift job so they can take their classes during the day. Dan was fine with that, truth be told. He enjoyed helping people and he knew how hard it was to get a good and reliable source of income in college. 

"So, how'd it go?" Lousie asked him when he walked out to the counter. 

"It actually was pretty good. They mostly just didn't care, but like, in a good way." Dan was never really good with his words. 

"That's great, Dan. I'm happy to hear that." She gave him the warmest smile he's ever seen and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. She just hugged him back and they stood like that for a good few moments. 

"So, how busy was it today?" Dan questioned. 

"Not too horrible," Louise shrugged. "Nobody really came to eat, just to get a coffee and go." 

"Thanks for covering for me today, Lou." 

"Of course," She grinned. 

"But now, it's time for you to find a new employee for this place. I need a new helper since you're never here in the mornings anymore." 

"Ugh, don't remind me. I hate doing interviews." Dan whined. 

"Well, my shift was over the minute you got here so I'm leaving." Louise said with a little laugh. Dan just waved goodbye as she grabbed her things and left. 

He then just slumped down on the counter, waiting for his shift to be over when it had barely even started.


	2. Chapter Two

The first interview was only around an hour later. It was a scrawny looking kid who, as Dan guessed, went to the university down the street. The blonde-haired boy had no experience, so this would be his first job. Dan told him he would be in touch but he already drew a big 'x' next to his name. 

The next two people were actually around his age and had just moved into town. It took him by surprise because no one ever willingly moved to this tiny town that didn't even show up on your average map. Most likely, they had just had family out here. He didn't think too much about it after they left. 

It had been over four hours of interviews and he was sure that he had gone through every unemployed person in the area, but a tall man with raven black hair walked into the cafe. He looked nervous and his long limbs made him seem awkward. Dan had to admit, he was very attractive. It wouldn't be too horrible to see a face like that every day, he thought. 

"Hi! Are you here for an interview?" Dan asked, peering down at his pile of resumes. He finally found the tall mans paper and looked back over at him. 

"Philip Lester?" 

"You can call me Phil." He said with a smile, sitting down opposite of Dan. Dan couldn't help but smile as well. 

"I'm Dan, nice to meet you." 

Dan wasn't very hidden when it came to his sexuality. Yeah, he had only come out to his parents this morning, but they weren't around all the time. He went on dates, try to pick guys up at the bar, checked people out when appropriate of course. All Dan wanted to do then was to give Phil a long once over. To take in every feature on his face like he was the prettiest human on Earth. He wanted to remember every dip and curve like he would forget them once he tore his eyes away. Although, Dan had thought that he wouldn't be forgetting his face for a long while. 

"How are you, Dan?" Phil asked. Dan quickly shook his thoughts away and sat up in his seat a bit more. 

"I'm doing well, you?" One point towards Phil for politeness. 

"I'm okay as well." Phil folded his hands on the table and stared into Dan's hazel eyes. A small flush crawled up Dan's jaw but he shook his head and focused back on the basic questions. 

"Okay! So, let's dive straight in shall we?" Dan asked, and with an enthusiastic nod from Phil, they began. 

"What would you say your strengths are?" Phil pondered the question for a minute and Dan wondered if he had even prepared for these questions. 

"I'm very good with people, and I can draw." Phil replied. Dan just grinned. 

"I don't think the second one will be very necessary but thank you." This time, Phil flushed and looked down at the table in embarrassment. Dan had the strongest urge to laugh at Phil's reaction and tell him it's alright, but he held his tongue. 

"Alright, um, going along with the first question, what are your _weaknesses?_"__

"I don't do well with conflicts, and I'm very clumsy." Phil chuckled a bit and again, this was getting a bit annoying, but Dan couldn't help but smile. 

"Why are you interested in working here?" 

"I just love little cafe's. Also, I have loads of experience as a barista." His tone wasn't very professional but Dan was quick to forget after he looked into the man's deep blue eyes. 

Dan gave a little cough and pulled his attention back to his sheet of questions. 

"Tell me about an accomplishment you are most proud of." Dan said. 

"I won the science fair in the fourth grade, even after burning a good chunk of my teacher's hair off." Dan laughed. He actually laughed at his own job interview. Well, after that he kind of forgot about the interview. He asked a question here and there but it always branched off into a line of silly banter. 

Around two hours later, Dan's timer went off in his pocket. He set one for every interview to save himself if it ran too long and he couldn't escape the person's meaningless and awkward small talk. This was different though. Their conversation flowed with ease and Dan never even thought about awkward silences or not knowing what to say.

Reluctantly, Dan got up, shook Phil's hand, and he was gone. There wasn't even any question in who would get hired. Dan was so excited to give that call back. 

\---~--- 

Today was a bad day. Saturday had rolled around and Dan couldn't drag himself out of bed. He figured it was useless. 

Dan hated days like this. He had to go through the motions and hope it didn't happen again the next day. 

Finally, he hauled himself out of bed and forced down half a bowl of cereal. He didn't end up brushing his teeth, it was just too much. A sitcom was playing on the tv but he couldn't focus on anything. Even though his mind was empty, it felt like everything was swirling around at the same time. A thought would come to the front of his mind but it ended up being nothing at all. It was sort of like when you felt the itch if a bug on your arm but when you looked to swat it away, nothing was there. But the feeling of something being on you was just too distracting. You can't stop scratching at it like if you keep acknowledging it, a bug will magically appear. 

A thought would come to his mind but it was blank so he would keep thinking about it in hopes words would show up. They never did though. 

The day passed by so slowly. It felt like two episodes were only five minutes. Every time he looked at the clock it had only been a few minutes. 

Finally, after what felt like years, except for the occasional nap which would speed up time a bit, it was around ten pm. Dan was wide awake but so tired at the same time, so he popped a few sleeping pills and passed out on the bed. He knew he took them too often. Way too often. He would go through a bot of thirty-five each month. But he didn't care enough about himself to stop. They made him feel numb and tired, in a good way. Almost like being content. 

Dan never really cared about what affected him. He let people walk all over him and treat him like garbage and he would just take it. He would eat like shit and take drugs during work and drink so much coffee to fight them that he got sick. He would give away money and food like he had enough to share when really, he just wouldn't be eating for a good few days. He never cared. He was never hungry though either, so it worked out in the end. 

You might say he was easy. In more ways than one. He would go to bars and clubs and just give himself to someone for the night. It felt to so good to him to just throw himself away, to place his body in the hands of someone else. He took every slap, every name, every tug of the hair. 

Dan just didn't care. And that's what will most likely end up killing him someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, quite a sad ending to this chapter. Don't feel too sad though, things get better. This is a happy ending! The next chapter will be out next week, and I hope you enjoyed this one. Have a good day!


	3. Chapter Three

Wednesday. Dan hated Wednesdays. You have all of this motivation on Monday that pushes you through Tuesday but once Wednesday rolls around, you're already exhausted. Also, nothing ever happens on Wednesdays, they're basically useless. All they do is remind you the week isn't finished yet and you still have two more days left. 

Today though, was different. 

You see, today was Phil's first day at Flip Cafe and Dan was probably more excited than he should have been. It didn't stop him from completing his normal morning routine of taking a shower, throwing on whatever outfit was closest to him, popping a few pills, and heading out the door. 

Dan didn't like to use the word 'addicted'. It made it seem like he had a problem. Well, he _did_, but he wasn't addicted. He could stop whenever he wanted. In fact, he had stopped, in the past, for four months, but the pain in his chest was too unbearable. The sleeping pills would shut down his body and he couldn't feel anything. Especially if he mixed them with a few glasses of scotch in the morning. __

_ _He had just turned off of his street when he saw a familiar face across the way. Guess who it was? I bet you already know. _ _

_ _It was Phil Lester. So cliche, right? _ _

_ _Well, it was true. Phil Lester was walking down the road on the opposite side of Dan. After a few seconds, Phil turned his head towards Dan and gave him the brightest smile Dan had ever seen. It could have blinded him if he stared at it too long, his words, not mine. _ _

_ _Phil quickly jogged over and fell into a perfect stride beside Dan. _ _

_ _"Hey! How are you?" Phil asked cheerily. Dan's eyes widened a bit. It didn't sound like the boring conversation filler he heard all the time, it sounded like Phil was genuinely interested. _ _

_ _"I'm doing great! What about you?" Dan was quick to plaster over his shock with his signature, fake as hell smile. It looked very convincing, he was quite proud of himself for that in a very fucked up way. _ _

_ _"No you're not." Phil said with a frown. The question was so insane and unexpected that Dan's grin faltered for a second. He composed himself rather speedily though. _ _

_ _"Pardon?" You could definitely hear the fear in his voice, which Dan thoroughly scolded himself for. _ _

_ _"Sorry, that was rude, but your smile just doesn't look genuine." _ _

_ _That was a very deep insult to Dan. Years of hard work for nothing. He immediately deflated and dropped his head down. The pills did not seem to be working as he planned. _ _

_ _They were both silent for a while before Phil spoke up. _ _

_ _"You don't know me very well, so I'm not gonna' force you to tell me about whatever it is that's got you in a slump, but I just don't like to see sad people. Especially ones who know how to hide it very well. Who knows how long they've been feeling that way to be so good at covering it up." _ _

_ _Phil's voice was very soft and it comforted Dan a little bit. Dan didn't end up replying to Phil. He didn't have one. __

__\---~--- _ _

_ _"How much longer are you going to take on that cappuccino?" An angry voice yelled. Dan whipped around to see the same pissy, middle-aged lady from before. He literally had just took her order, it hadn't even been ten seconds. _ _

_ _"I'm sorry for the wait, it won't be much longer ma'am." He said with the sweetest (*cough* *cough* _fakest_) smile ever. She just huffed and started tapping her feet in an annoying rhythm. He quickly finished the drink and gently placed it in front of her before she snatched it and stormed out of the cafe. ___ _

_ _ _"God, some people are intolerable." He muttered under his breath. That lady was the last one in the weekday morning rush. There were always at least twenty people attempting to all order their coffee at the same time and be in and out of the store in less than three minutes. Dan did his best to provide that service, but it was impossible. _ _ _

_ _ _He looked over to his right and saw Phil had just dropped his third omelet on the ground and Louise was grumbling under her breath. He had been training for the last four hours and he was only getting worse. He already had barista training at one of his last jobs so Dan wouldn't have to worry about that. _ _ _

_ _ _"How hard is it to keep the food _in_ the pan, at the very least?" Louise growled. Phil just smiled sheepishly as she ordered him to clean it up so she could go get more ingredients. ___ _ _

_ _ _As Dan walked over, Phil looked up at him and smiled. _ _ _

_ _ _"I'll never be able to get it right." He said with a slight laugh. Dan just frowned. _ _ _

_ _ _"You'll get it at some point, it's hard at the beginning." Phil just smiled again and walked away to throw out the, now spoiled, omelet. _ _ _

_ _ _"Looks like someones got a crush." Louise giggled. Dan went into a coughing fit and she just laughed harder while Dan went as red as a tomato, partly from the comment and partly from the intense hacking he was doing. _ _ _

_ _ _Phil glanced over, concerned, and Louise just waved him off. _ _ _

_ _ _"Shut up Louise. Even if I did, there's no way it would go anywhere." _ _ _

_ _ _"Why's that." _ _ _

_ _ _"Because, I'm-... just because. It would never happen." Dan's voice got quiet and Louise just looked sad before wiping the negative emotion and feigning one of joy instead. _ _ _

_ _ _"So you're admitting you have a crush on the newbie?" _ _ _

_ _ _Dan's cheeks heated up and he looked down, "Maybe, maybe not." _ _ _

_ _ _Oh god, what had Dan gotten himself into? ___

___\---~---_ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one was a little late, school just started and I've been really busy with tons of work already! I hope you like the chapter and have a good day!!! 
> 
> (Also, sorry the chapters are so short. Like I said, I don't have much time lately.)


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